Does this sound like your day?
You show up to work after a terrible night’s sleep. Your back is tense, and you do some kind of walking/stretching combo as you walk through the doors. Your focus fades during the mind-numbing routine of the morning shift sign out. As the day moves forward, you begin to feel resentful as you sign orders, see patients, and address your ICU team needs. You know that’s not right, that it’s not in line with who you want to be, but the irritation doesn’t go away.
Your lunchtime is filled with computer screens, notes, billing, and more billing. The previous feelings of irritation begin to boil into anger because more of your day is filled with bureaucratic demands and insurance reports rather than actually helping people. This isn’t what you signed up for. Years and years of training so you could be a paper pusher? The thought leads to rage ... or sometimes apathy on days you give in to the inevitable.
You finish your shift with admissions, procedures, code blues, and an overwhelming and exhausting night shift sign out. You feel like a hamster in a wheel. You’re going nowhere. What’s the point of all of this? You find yourself questioning why you went into medicine anyways ... yeah, that’s burnout.
I know what you’re thinking. You keep hearing about this, and it’s important to recognize, but then you hear the same old solutions: be more positive, find balance, do some yoga, take this resilience module, be mindful (what on earth does this mean anyways?), get some more sleep. Basically, it’s our problem. It’s our burden. If all of these were easy to understand and implement, don’t you think doctors and health-care providers would have done it already? I think you and I are a lot alike. These were my exact feelings. But stick with me on this one. I have a solution for you, albeit a little different. I’ll show you a more “positive” spin on the DIY.
I burned out early. After fellowship, I didn’t want to be a doctor anymore. I desperately sought to alter my career somehow. I looked into website development, something I had been good at in high school. I took a few refresher classes on my days off and started coding my own sites, but I had bills to pay. Big bills. Student loan bills. Luckily, my first job out of fellowship accepted many of my schedule demands, such as day shifts only, and after about a year, I recovered and remembered why I had loved medicine to begin with.
What is burnout?
Mind-body-soul exhaustion caused by excessive stress. Stress and burnout are closely related, but they’re more like distant cousins. Stress can be (and is) a normal part of our jobs. I bet you think you’re stressed, when you’re probably burned out. Critical care doctors have the highest rate of burnout among all physician subspecialties at >55%, and it is even higher in pediatric critical care. (Sessler C. https://www.mdedge.com/chestphysician/article/160951/society-news/turning-heat-icu-burnout). The main difference between stress and burnout is hope. With stress, you still feel like things can get better and you can get it all under control. Burnout feels hopeless.