Patient visits can be full of unexpected stories and ghastly surprises. My most recent visit with Mrs. PMR (not her real name), age 84, felt just like hundreds of other visits with polymyalgia rheumatica patients. We discussed her prednisone dose in detail. She was doing well on 5 mg a day, and she felt enthusiastic and optimistic about trying to taper her prednisone a little bit further. We agreed that each month she would try decreasing her daily dose by 1 mg.
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A grave concern: What happens if a stranger gets buried in your cemetery plot?
Out of left field, so to speak, she announced that she wanted to tell me a story. Her parents died in 1978, and after she and her sister had attended to their parents’ funeral arrangements, the sisters decided they would prearrange their own funeral needs, so their families would be spared some of the trouble and expense involved when their time came. She and her sister made their own funeral arrangements with a local home, and then they went to the cemetery, picked out their own graves, and paid for them in full.
Fast forward 30 plus years, and my patient’s sister was in failing health. A family member called to inform her of this sad news, and the topic of funerals and final expenses came up. My patient’s mind was at ease since she and her sister had planned and paid in full for everything many years earlier. Unfortunately, the funeral home had changed hands several times over the years, and when Mrs. PMR investigated, she was thunderstruck and indignant to find out that the new proprietors had buried another woman in her grave. This strange woman was now the eternal next-door neighbor of Mr. PMR, her late husband!
Her message to the funeral director was charming in its simplicity: "Get her out of my grave!"
The funeral director asked her to consider the emotional pain exhuming the other woman would inflict on the woman’s family. My patient was not easily mollified, and she threatened to get a lawyer and notify the local television station. The funeral director must have realized that he was over a barrel – or a casket – and offered my patient her choice of other graves, plus $3,000.
Mrs. PMR graciously accepted this offer, and used the cash to buy a nicer marker for her sister. She felt it would be sacrilegious to spend the money on anything else. Fortunately for me, her arthritis was doing well, and all I had to do was nod sympathetically.
Dr. Greenbaum is a rheumatologist who practices in Greenwood, Ind.