The Tiger Woods saga, which has been broadcast on HBO, is a “child” of the ESPN Michael Jordan series – which riveted early pandemic America. It is likely to exert a similar vicelike hold on the imagination of Biden transition/Trump impeachment II United States, despite not having the express participation of Woods himself.
Dr. Ian R. Tofler
The differences in parenting styles of these young African American men, at least superficially, appears in amazingly stark contrast.
Whereas Michael Jordan’s parents appear to have shown good old, red-blooded North Carolina ambitious and hard-driven tough parenting, Earl and Kultida Woods seem to have exerted a textbook example of what we call “achievement by proxy distortion” (ABPD) parenting style.1-5
By deciding, even prior to birth, what their son’s future career would be, Earl, aided by Kultida Woods, created a master plan that came to fruition when Eldrick Tont “Tiger” Woods won his first Masters Tournament at the ripe old age of 21.
His parents’ fine-tuning of the ABPD template for professional sports parenting is often emulated. It had been earlier developed, in an industrial model – especially in women’s gymnastics – where Bela Karolyi and others in the Romanian Eastern Bloc system had developed Nadia Comaneci and others to be prepubescent superstars of the 1970s. When it was transferred to the more financially supportive, fertile base of the U.S., physical and sexual abuse were the acceptable price paid for Olympic gold medals.
When Tiger first appeared on the U.S. radar at the age of 2 on the Mike Douglas show in 1977, he was already definitively on the way to “prodigy” territory. Earl, a retired Vietnam veteran and product of the U.S. Marines, was able to model his own extraordinarily rigorous training where breaking down soldiers psychologically helps them survive special ops behind enemy lines. He trained his son essentially from birth, imprinting through somatic and postural echo these golf skills and habits for playing under pressure, handling annoying distraction, and self-hypnosis. These all clearly accelerated his son’s ability to enter the “zone,” a level of high attunement required, even demanded, at the highest levels of professional golf.
His parents’ ruthless approach, clearly accompanied by undoubted love and enthusiasm, to ending what appears to have been an age-appropriate high school relationship with his then “sweetheart,” appears on the surface a little cruel. But their approach achieved its purpose of sacrificing a distraction on the glorious golden path toward inevitable success and superstardom. This likely also produced a degree of self-objectification and further compartmentalization.
The typical outcome of ABPD is a fairly unidimensional identity defined by the activity, or in this case, the sport. In this case, where Earl was building or imagining a Messianic role for Tiger, multidimensionality was important as the self-described “Cablinasian” moniker suggests, whereby all of Tiger’s background of Caucasian, Black, Indian, and Asian ancestry was acknowledged as they all became lifelong fans.
What most likely saved Tiger Woods from the most debilitating aspects of his father’s master plan was that golfers cannot compete and achieve mega endorsements at the professional level until they have established credentials and grow into their adult bodies, when their stroke making becomes fully competitive and their product image ideal.
Therefore, a 6-year-old JonBenet Ramsey competing in beauty contests, or a 7-year-old Jessica Dubroff flying across country could have been Tiger, but they were not.
While awaiting his preordained career and endorsement deals, Tiger still needed to at least spend some time at college, in his case on a Stanford (Calif.) University golfing scholarship, while he accumulated U.S. amateur titles and fully established his credentials during this crucial time of normal development and “adolescent moratorium.”
According to the documentary,* being exposed to the “secret” extracurricular fringe benefits and sexual proclivities of golf pros with his father is likely to have been part of a traumatic “adultification” and compartmentalizing process. Whereby, one of Tiger’s roles became keeping his parents’ marriage together. That alleged exposure may also have planted the seeds for the “groupie” and sexual acting out challenges he so publicly experienced later in his career.
While Michael Jordan’s career has almost receded into the ancient and “hoary” past, Tiger Woods’s career at age 45, after overcoming significant back injuries and multiple failed surgeries, continues to astonish the golf and sporting world in general.
Most of his now deceased father Earl’s ambitions have indeed been realized despite some hiccups, setbacks, and loss of endorsements.
As parents in these challenging times, we all make sacrifices for our children, and in turn, expect them to step up to the plate and within reason, sacrifice and defer short-term excitement and fun for long-term educational, social, and life goals. How we as parents, and that includes Tiger Woods now, rise to this challenge is often a daily and humbling struggle.
While you watch this series, please keep your psychiatrist and family dynamics eyes wide open.
Dr. Tofler is a child and adolescent, sport psychiatrist, and is affiliated with Kaiser Permanente Psychiatry in West Los Angeles. He also is a visiting faculty member in the department of psychiatry and biobehavioral sciences at the University of California, Los Angeles. Dr. Tofler has no conflicts of interest.
References
1. Tofler IR et al. N Engl J Med. 1996 Jul 25;335(4):281-3.
2. Jellinek MS et al. J Am Acad Child Adolesc Psychiatry. 1999 Feb;38(2):213-6.
3. Tofler IR and DiGeronimo TF. “Keeping Your Kids Out Front Without Kicking Them From Behind: How to Nurture High-Achieving Athletes, Scholars, and Performing Artists.” (Hoboken, N.J,: Jossey-Bass, 2000).
4. Tofler IR et al. Clin Sports Med. 2005 Oct;24(4):805-28.
5. Clark TP et al. Clin Sports Med. 2005 Oct;24(4):959-71.
*Updated 1/25/2021