Infancy and up: Relational health
Children develop the skills needed for healthy relationships at home, and they are connected to all of the skills described above. Children need attuned, responsive, and reliable parenting to build a capacity for trust of others, to learn how to communicate honestly and effectively, to learn to expect and offer compassion and respect, and to learn how to handle disagreement and conflict. They learn these skills by watching their parents and by developing the emotional, cognitive, and behavioral healthy habits with their parents’ help. They need a consistently safe and responsive environment at home. They need parents who are attuned and flexible, while maintaining routines and high expectations. They need parents who make time for them when they are sad or struggling, and make time for joy, play, and mindless fun. While a detailed assessment of how the family is functioning may go beyond a check-up, you can ask about those routines that build healthy habits (family mealtime, sleep routines, screen time rules), communication style, and what the family enjoys doing together. Learning about how a family is building these healthy habits and how connected they are to one another can give you a clear snapshot of how well a child may be doing on their mental health growth curve, and what areas might benefit from more active guidance and support.
Dr. Swick is physician in chief at Ohana Center for Child and Adolescent Behavioral Health, Community Hospital of the Monterey (Calif.) Peninsula. Dr. Jellinek is professor emeritus of psychiatry and pediatrics, Harvard Medical School, Boston. Email them at pdnews@mdedge.com.